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| I've started a new blog to chronicle my life in the Funeral business. It should be interesting (if not a tad disturbing...) Go check it out! I even created the layout heading picture. (Which wasn't easy, seeing as I'm computer retarded and had to find a good pic of a hearse...) http://themaidenofmacabre.blogspot.com/ | | |
| My drinking days are DONE. They were fun while they lasted. But, after some serious consideration (and throwing up tequila all night), I've decided drinking is not for me. I'm done. My name is Nicole. And I'm an alcoholic. Kidding. Kidding. But I will be spending my days and nights sober from now on. No more drinking. I'm going to go back to being the studious, shy nerd that I am. | | |
| Hello, people. Been a while sice we rock and rolled, eh? I haven't really had the chance to talk to a lot of you lately, I guess. So I should catch you up on a few new goings on. 1. I was forced to move on the 24th of February. After living at my aunts, we found a place on the 19th of March. And despite the fact that I lost all of my animals, and I am sad (especially over my baby girl dog, Minnie. The one I used to lotion--aka, The Love of My Life), I am really not so bad anymore. My house, which is really an apartment/townhouse, is way smaller, but it looks better, brighter. There waren't too many bad memories here yet. We just got our stuff a week ago, and we're slowly unpacking our lives. I like the change, and I think once I help my mom get out of her funk, we'll be a lot happier in this new place. 2. My car. I love my car. The seats are stained from formula from when Belly was a wee lil lass, and it smells kinda like cigarette smoke, but I stil love it. It has some get up and go. Nothing feels better than driving home from work with the windows down and the sunroof open. Music (the new DECEMBERISTS) playing. Ah...love... 3. My dad finally admitted he has a problem and needs treatment. Only took the loss of two homes, his wife, his family, and his job to make him realize. But we are currently on the search for a treatment facility. So, there. After he kicks this, maybe he'll finally be normal. I'm just happy he finally admitted it. 4. I'm still single. And after some recent events regarding me and a man and a mistake I made, I finally realize that this doesn't bother me. So...still single, that hasn't changed. The change is in my attitude towards being single. 5. I applied back in February for my FAFSA. I won't hear back from TCC for about a week or two more according to the office, but even if I don't get any financial aid, I was thinking about saving enough to take a few classes. So I shall be in college this fall. Community college, and possibly for only two or three classes, but it is a start right? Things are starting to slowly look up for me. And I'm happy about it. FINALLY. I can't wait to see everyone. Y'all can come to my house this summer. (I know, Nicole's house? Whoa...no one's ever been to my house in the whole time we've been friends! This shall change.) Peace out, babes. I'll catch ya on the flip side. | | |
| Okay...so...a couple weeks ago, I heard two Decemberists songs, one new to me, and the other one just new: 1. Valerie Plame: Found on "Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride." This song, while not my favorite Decemberists song (not even close), this song is kinda growing on me. It's a satiric tale of espionage and CIA fun. Not really skilled writing, but all right, nonetheless. A lot like The Bagman's Gambit, if you ask me. 2. The Rake's Song: Found on the upcoming "The Hazards of Love" (to be released the 24th of March). Now, I realize "The Hazards of Love" is collectively being called "a rock opera" by most people in the music biz...but seriously? This song is not up to par. The guitar sounds like it was forcibly strummed and the song just sounds sloppy to me. Which, maybe accents the lyrics more? The song is about a man who marries at 21 and his wife's womb spills out babies, and then his wife dies giving birth to the fourth baby, leaving the man a widower. He then proceeds to KILL all of his babies. And then shows no remorse. Seriously...that's the song. Go find the lyrics. But anyway, the loose sound of the song is most likely (bordering on definitely) done on purpose. I'm not so sure I like loose Decemberists.... Now...the Decemberists are awesome in that they change with every new album they make. They grow as a band each time. But honestly...With every album that comes, I yearn more for their older style. "The Crane Wife" finally grew on me, like, last summer when I was hanging out one day. I was with a friend of mine and "The Crane Wife 1" came on (which...Colin looked right at me when he sang this on April 1, 2007 at the Norva...the best moment all night.), and I was like..."I like this now...it's mellow...sad...haunting...yet awesome." And then "Oceanside" came on, and my mind just screamed, "THIS IS BETTER." I dunno. The Decemberists will always hold a special place in my heart, of course. They totally popped my indie virginity. Before that, I thought indie was for sissies (okay...it still kinda is..but whatever). But now, I appreciate it a little more. SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS THAT'S ONLY KINDA RELATED: I am BORED with my taste in music. Sure, I still kick it with my bro and listen to Biggie Smalls and rap to Run DMC. I still love listening to Zepp (a classic never dies) and other various old artists. But I'm bored with listening to the same shit all the time. I've been listening to the same 300 songs since I was born, particularly concentrated in the last, ohhh...six years. It's getting tiring singing to ACDC and The Temptations. I haven't listened to my iPod in weeks. I shun the radio these days--they always play crap music on any given radio station in the Hampton Roads area. I don't walk around singing too much anymore, basically because the songs I sing around the house are getting on my nerves. I need to get a new taste in music. Open my mind to something new. Try out something I would never have listened to before... | | |
| Famous last words of Francois Rabelais, a sixteenth century satirist and writer. Made even more famous in modern times as a central theme in John Green's Looking for Alaska. (Which is how I discovered it, obviously.) I've been thinking a lot about this concept lately. The "Great Perhaps." Something beyond life as I know it, something that has the potential to be. Rabelais was on his deathbed, so I'm assuming his Great Perhaps was the afterlife, which may or may not exist. I can tell you only what happens to the physical body after death. I'm not going to pretend to know what happens to one's soul. And Miles' Great Perhaps in John's book was the boarding school, and the life he found with Alaska and everyone there. A life greater in ways than the one he had been living. I want to find my Great Perhaps. Life at this point in time, February 1st, 6:43 p.m., is meaningless and mundane. I get up and loaf around all day. I read the same kinds of books, I write the same book I've been writing for a year, I listen to the same songs on my iPod, I think the same thoughts, deal with the same problems. Day in and day out. On weekdays, I go and sit at the same desk, talk to the same people, wear the same old clothes, hear the same complaints, everyday. Something else is out there for me, I just know it. I have the potential to do more with my life. I'm a tenacious person, and I strive to get what I need. I fought my way through high school, and made it out, with Honors and acceptances to four decent colleges. And rose above my parents achievements, and their expectations for me. I fought my way through work to help my mom and Alex, an ongoing battle to this day. I'm not sure what my life holds in store anymore. My plans rarely ever work out the way I want. And this usually drives me nuts, because I feel like I work for nothing. But lately, I've realized, I don't care anymore. life is too short for me to make plans. I need spontaneity. I'm not scared of what's going to happen. I'm learning to take each day as it comes. Because that's the easiest way to deal with life's obstacles. Just take them one by one and work through them. If there is a God, I'm fairly sure He has His reasons for the things that take place in my life. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I may not like the emotionally difficult path I'm being forced to follow in life. But I know that this path, with it's forks, bumps, twists and turns leads to something better, leads to true happiness. And I'll eventually have someone to hold my hand, and we'll walk down a solitary path towards a Great Perhaps designed for two. And so I quote Rabelais when I say, "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." | | |
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